


this is the title until i think of something better

by sataninventedrollerskates



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 08:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11227215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sataninventedrollerskates/pseuds/sataninventedrollerskates
Summary: More post-game shenanigans





	1. gemini

What was that?  
Where are you? Why are you here? Who are you?  
You sit up and look around. You're in your respiteblock and everything's exactly as you left it.   
Wait- left it?  
Oh yeah, SGRUB.  
What happened? How'd you get back here? Did the others win the game? What about the humans? What about AA and KK and FF and TZ?  
You look around. Is the rest of your hive the same? You walk through the door to your ablution block. Everything looks the same in here as well. You glance in the mirror and-  
oh fuck that's not you  
Your hair is the same, but it's not black, and your horns are gone. Your skin is no longer grey, instead a weird mocha brown. You pull your glasses off and take a look at your eyes. You have irises now, they're red and blue, and your sclera are white.   
You know that this is probably you. You don't know exactly what species you are, you think humans were supposed to look something like this, but you know that this is you. You’re wearing your clothes, you’re wearing your glasses, and it’s just what you look like that's different.  
What happened?  
You head back into your respitblock. Nothing familiar has changed while you've had your freak-out. It appears, however, that the door to your leisureblock has been replaced with one of the ones from the meteor. You walk up to it, and it automatically slides open. You head through it into what looks like four different leisureblocks all merged together. You're pretty sure that one of them was yours, as your couch is among the ones strewn about the room.  
There are three other meteor-style sliding doors, each emblazoned with your symbol. One of them slides open, and out walks someone who looks a lot like you do know, but taller, without glasses, with a different haircut, and wearing a jumpsuit that's way too big for him or her.  
"Hey, I'd never imagined that the scratch would make a mini me!" they say.  
"What?" you ask. You're confused. Is this one of the ancestors from the dreambubbles? Is this your ancestor? You wouldn't know, you never met him, but it seems like it.  
"Y'know, from the dreambubbles. Judging by the doors, our ancestors are here too."  
"Oh. What about the whole, you know, species thing?"  
"Wait, you know what species we are now? I'd assumed that it was a bigger change than appearance, 'cause, well, it changed our ages too."  
"Really? I don't think mine changed, I mean, my clothes still fit."  
"Well, yeah, if you were six sweeps when this shit happened. I was nine, so," he says, and gestures to his overlarge jumpsuit. Huh. You guess that makes sense.  
"What about the whole ancestor thing? Are they six sweeps too, well, if they're even here?"  
"I dunno. I'd assume that they'd be older, but I didn't expect to change species either."  
"I wonder what they're like. They're supposed to be older copies of us, because of the scratch, but growing up in different universes might have changed them. Speaking of, what was yours like?"  
"Our planet was called Beforus, and I guess it was okay. There was a system called culling where mutants and trolls that couldn't take care of themselves were sent to live with cullers, trolls who cared for them."  
"Huh. Ours was called Alternia, and it was hell. We had culling too, but it meant to euthanize or otherwise kill someone who was unfit for society rather than to care for them. There was also the fleet, which all of-age trolls who weren't jadebloods had to enter. It involved a bunch of spaceships going out and conquering other worlds."  
"Really? Our fleet was small, since we could only go so fast. We never made it out of our solar system. What were your ships powered by?"  
"Helmsmen. They were high level psionics, like us, who were strapped into columns and used as batteries. Helming was said to be excruciatingly painful, and you and I probably would have had to have been helmsmen if it weren't for all of this."  
"Aw, what? Living batteries? That sounds barbaric."  
"Most of Alternia was. There was a highblood religious cult that was famous for murals painted with the blood of lowbloods."  
"Well, fuck, that sounds like a living hell."  
"Did you have all of the same team members for your game? I'd assume so. Our Makara was a devout member of that cult."  
"Really? Our Kurloz is the sweetest."  
"He threatened to skin our Vantas alive and wear his flesh."  
"That- ewwww."  
"They were moirails at the time, and probably still are."  
"That's fucked up."  
"That was Alternia."  
"Should we check the other rooms? I figure our ancestors are in there."  
"Yeah, maybe."  
He walks to one of the doors and knocks sharply on it. You follow behind him as the door opens.   
It reveals a weird, barren room with a troll inside. He appears to be about your age, and is clad in clothes that are much, much too big for him. You recognize them as a Helmsman's suit, and decide to turn your attention to your double instead.  
"Who are you?" ex-helmsman asks  
"Mituna," your double says.  
"But-but my name, well my grub name, is-was Mituna," other-Mituna says.  
Your double turns toward you, nods, then turns back to the room's original occupant.  
"You must be Alternian Mituna," he says. "I'm Beforean Mituna, and triangle hair is your descendant, well, was, before this whole age fuck-up."  
"My name is Sollux," you remark, "and it's nice to meet you, uh,-"  
"Call me Psii," he says.  
"Well, Psii, and you too, Mituna, you look really uncomfortable. I think I have clothes that would fit you," you offer.  
You lead them back to your respiteblock, and prepare to be really embarrassed. Other than about fifteen identical pairs of Gemini shirts and grey jeans, your wardrobe is pretty weird. You know you have a couple of band t-shirts and a Gemini hoodie or two, then there's that pair of pants with one white leg and one black leg and set of dress clothes your lusus bought for you. You open your closet and open the drawers within for them to choose. Other than what you knew of, there're two pairs of grey cargo shorts, a DOOM shirt, and a trench coat. You gesture towards the bathroom for the two, who are both just standing there awkwardly, to change.  
They both go for the shirts at once. Psii just grabs a Gemini shirt while Mituna rifles through your band shirts and finally grabs the DOOM one. Psii goes for cargo shorts, Mituna for jeans. Mituna grabs a pair of boxers (you hadn't thought about that) and heads off to change first. Psii, clothes in arms, curiously investigates the trench coat. You are about to make an excuse for it when Mituna leaves the restroom, wearing your clothing plus a Gemini necklace. Psii takes his place quietly as he wanders over to your computer.  
"Cool setup. You got any games?" he says.  
"Tons," you reply. You aren't kidding. You bet you have half the Steam library by now.  
Psii exits, and promptly asks;  
"Do you mind if I borrow the coat as well?"  
You nod, and he walks back over to the closet to borrow the trench coat. If Kanaya sees your ancestor wearing a trench coat and cargo shorts, she may kill him.  
"So," Mituna says, "Do you think we should probably go and find my ancestor now?"  
"Your ancestor?" Psii asks.  
"Beforus Sollux. I'm Beforus Mituna, you're Alternia Mituna, he's Alternia Sollux. On Beforus, Sollux was the ancestor, and on Alternia, Mituna was."  
Psii looks at you. You stick your tongue out at him and he smirks.  
Mituna, by now, has already marched over to the fourth door. You can sorta hear him speaking to the other you.  
Psii turns towards you.  
"So," he says.  
"So," you say back.  
"I have a descendant."  
"I have an ancestor."  
He nods at you, right as Beforus Sollux strides into the room. You point him towards your still open closet. He grabs clothes quickly and retreats into the bathroom. You get the idea that he isn't exactly comfortable with all that's happened, including the fact that he has to borrow clothes.  
"Hey mini-me," Mituna says.  
Psii says, "We're all the same age now, remember."  
"Fine. What about names? He's Psii, I'm Tuna, but you and other him are still both Sollux," Mituna says.  
You have yet to wonder about that. Does he have a preferred nickname? What if he doesn't? Will one of you be Sol and the other Lux? That actually sounds like a good idea. As Beforus Sollux reemerges, you voice that idea.  
"One of us could be Sol and one of us could be Lux."  
"Okay, but I want to be Sol," Beforus you chimes in.  
You nod.  
"Then I'll be Lux."


	2. cancer

You four stand there in awkward silence for about 30 seconds before you have an idea. Your neglected gaming console (you've always preferred PC) is sitting in the leisureblock underneath a television that looks sort of like yours. You grab a familiar game grub from the floor of your respiteblock and head out the door. Mituna immediately knows what's going on and follows you. Psii and Sol, who likely grew up before this game, or any game, existed, aren't sure what's happening, but they follow you two out to the leisureblock anyway. As you boot up the console and plug in the game grub, Mituna pulls four controllers out of an unfamiliar cabinet in the jumbled block. They look like yours, which means that they'll probably work with your system.  
The television comes on and Tuna immediately plunks down on the couch and begins logging in. You're miffed that you don'tget to be player one, but you hand controllers to Psii and Sol anyway, both of whom are looking confused.  
Mituna has logged in by now, so you squeeze onto the couch and do the same. Psii and Sol sit down as well, and Tuna grabs Psii's controller.  
"You two are gonna need accounts if you're gonna save your progress," he says, and you facepalm. You hadn't thought of that.  
"Okay," Psii says, a hint of bewilderment in his voice. "What exactly does that entail?"  
"It's easy," Tuna says.  
He's set up the basic foundaion of an account by now, all that's left is for Psii to choose a username. Mituna hands the controller back over.  
"You need a username. What'd you want to be called?" he says.  
"A to select, b to backspace, joystick to switch letters," you add, helpfully (you hope).  
He slowly and carefully inputs 'twofoldArmistice', following the pattern that you and Tuna set (you both used your Trollian handles, twinArmageddons and twiceArraigned, respectively).  
Psii hands the controller back and Mituna sets up another account, this one for Sol. You wonder where he's getting all of these email adresses.  
Sol chooses the name 'twinnedAnarchy', sticking with the theme.  
Now that everyone has an account, it's time to inroduce your ancestors to the wonderful world of video games. Mituna smirks audibly as he sees your choice of game.  
"Terraria? Really?" he says.  
"I thought it'd be best if we chose something that's, well, beginner friendly," you say.  
"So how do we, y'know, play this?" Psii asks.  
"Left and right bumper to select items in the hotbar at the top of your screen, left trigger to use selected item, a to jump, y to open inventory, left joystick to move, right joystick to aim, menu button to pause, screen switch buton to open minimap," you say.  
Mituna scoffs. "They haven't even made characters," he says.  
He's working on making one of his own, one that you think is supposed to look like him. You do the same after you enter the game. Next, you bring Psii in with the menu button. He seems to be enamored with the massive color selection choice, and makes a character that's nothing but different shades of yellow. Sol goes for black, white, and grey on his, and finally you all can play.  
Mituna immediately goes to work on razing as many trees as possible. Psii presses all of the buttons at least twice, then when it seems he's got the hang of what does what, he makes his character run to the left, exploring. Sol falls into a particulaaly deep hole, and spends his time figuring out how to escape. You've found a cave.  
"What is that?" Psii says.  
"It's a slime," Mituna fires back.  
Psii's character takes damage, and he actively says "ow," then gets to work figuring out the sword.  
You play for an estimated several hours. Psii gets progressively closer to the screen every time he has to fight something, and Mituna defeats the Eye of Cuthulu by himself. Sol falls into the same hole four times before you build a platform over it. Sol and Mituna find the jungle at the same time, and Mituna immediately goes to find a beehive. Psii is upset that you have to kill the queen bee, and gets upset with Mituna when he recruits Sol to do it with him. You find the crimson underground, and Mituna runs off to fight the Brain of Cuthulu. He ends up summoning a meteorite, which lands on the house that Psii built. Psii subsequently dies about four times to meteor heads and fire damage, because "It landed on my property, I'm the only one that can mine it."  
You eventually get hungry, so you close your window and head into the food prep block-looking area. There's a refrigeratinator and a cookalizer, but no food in either. There are, however, a totem lathe, a cruxtruder, an alchemeter, and a punch designix. You take the only empty catcphalouge card you have out of your sylladex and make a stack of identical cards. Perfect. Now you can alchemize the only food item you know the code for: mountain dew.  
You trudge back into the living room with twelve cans in your arms, five of regular mountain dew, two white out, two code red, two baja blast, and one diet. Mituna is excited that there's an alchemeter and runs off to alchemize things, while Psii and Sol are apprehensive about trying the soft drink that you've brought (you felt like you needed to warn them about the caffeine content).  
Psii ends up drinking two cans of regular and one of white out, while Sol has one code red and one baja blast. You drink one of each.  
Mituna alchemizes monster energy and some suspicious looking mac and cheese, which the four of you eat anyway. Psii is shaking from the caffeine, but doesn't appear to care.  
From the other room, your husktop pings with a trollian notification. You excuse yourself from the video game and junk food binge to go and answer it.  
carcinoGenetecist began trolling twinArmageddons  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: HELP ME  
TA: de2perate, aren't we?  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: I AM SUFFERING  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS HAPPENED TO YOU TOO  
TA: the ance2tor thiing or the human thiing  
CG: THANK GOG  
CG: I'M NOT SUFFERING ALONE  
CG: THESE TROLLS  
CG: OR, I GUESS PEOPLE  
CG: ARE FUCKING HORRIBLE  
CG: THEY WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE  
CG: IT'S SICKENING  
TA: miine are pretty cool  
TA: we've been playiing viideo game2 and driinkiing mountaiin dew for hour2  
CG: WHERE DID YOU GET MOUNTAIN DEW  
TA: you don't have an alchemeter?  
CG: WE DO, BUT THEY WON'T LET ME USE IT  
CG: BECAUSE IT'S 'DANGEROUS'  
TA: eheheh that 2ound2 awful  
CG: IT IS  
CG: WHERE ARE YOU  
TA: uh  
TA: wherever we woke up  
TA: four respiite/ab2ollutiionblock2, a leii2ureblock, a food prep block, and a 2u2piiciiou2 lookiing door  
CG: WHAT'S THROUGH THE DOOR  
TA: ii don't know  
TA: ii'll check  
TA: look2 liike another food prep block  
TA: waiit  
TA: there are other troll2 here  
TA: well people  
TA: they're talkiing about triigger warniing2  
TA: what'2 a triigger warniing  
CG: LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE FOUND US  
carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling twinArmageddons  
You listen to the other people for about 15 seconds before you hear Karkat's angry stomping coming towards you. The quieter of the two people tries to stop him, but he shoves his way into the food prep block and gives you a massive hug. The two others follow him in. One's wearing a massively oversized red sweater and a pair of Karkat's jeans, while the other, also clad in Karkat's jeans, has on a cancer symbol t-shirt.  
You nod hello to them.  
"Who is this?" red-sweater guy asks, facing Karkat.  
"Sollux Captor, Alternian version, or Lux for short. Who are you?" you introduce.  
"Lux? You never went by that on Alternia," Karkat says.  
"Well, yeah. Beforus me is Sol, and I'm Lux," you explain  
Karkat frowns and shakes his head at you. You smirk back at him.  
"Nice to meet you, Lux. I am Kankri Vantas," red-sweater says.  
"And I'm Beforus Karkat, but I bet you already knew that," t-shirt dude says.  
You gesture towards the door. "I guess I'm a representative for the rest of the Captors."  
"Captors?" someone asks. This someone is sicking his head out from around the door of the food prep.  
"Sollux, Alternia edition," you explain.  
"Kankri Vantas, Alternia as well. You can call me Signless," he says.  
You open the door and head back into your food prep block. The four Vantases follow  
"Hey! Losers!" you yell. Your three clademates turn to face you. "Look who I found."  
"Psii?" says Signless. Psii is off the couch and squeezing him in a massive hug before you can blink twice.  
Sol and Beforus Karkat greet each other quietly, and Tuna appears to be harrassing red-sweater-Kankri enthusiastically.  
You turn to Karkat and smirk.  
"It's nice to see you again, you colossal shithead," he says. You hug him again.  
"Wait," he says, mid hug. "Are those your clothes that they borrowed?"  
"Uh, yeah?" you reply.  
"You own a trenchcoat?" he asks, incredulously.  
"Yes," you say. "It's from the time ED had me play FLARP. I had to have an outfit, apparently."  
"And you chose a trenchcoat?"  
"What is it that you say? Past me was an idiot?"  
"Got it," he says, nodding.


End file.
